Thinking of You
by McAbbyAddict
Summary: Tim's thoughts on the night of Abby's date with a new guy. Short, now three chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: This just kinda popped into my head. It's loosely inspired by the Katy Perry song 'Thinking of You', but it's not a songfic. It's also the first time I've ever written anything in the first person, and it's going to be short. Enjoy! F.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters etc.  
**

The worst thing about unrequited love is not that you've got this massive amount of emotion for someone that doesn't share it. I always thought that it would be; that is, until it happened to me. No, the worst part about it is that the person you love dates other people. And when the person that you love is your best friend, they tell you about it. So I'd been unable to escape the knowledge that tonight was the night of Abby's date with Sean.

Which is why, at 2 o'clock in the morning, I was sitting in front of my typewriter. I hadn't published anything in a long time; not since Landon tried to kill Abby. But there was a difference between not publishing and not writing. Agent McGregor was truly my alter ego; and his relationship with Amy Sutton was as complex as mine and Abby's was, but with one notable difference. Amy loved McGregor. Abby had said she loved me many times, but she'd always qualified it- like I love puppies- rendering it not meaningless, as I valued our friendship, but definitely worlds away from how I felt about her. I'd given up hoping that it would change, but as the years went on it seemed less and less likely. When we were dating I wanted a commitment from her; now I just wanted Abby, on whatever terms I could have her. But as that wasn't going to happen, I wrote about Amy and McGregor instead. I hadn't submitted much of what I'd written to my publisher- otherwise my next book would be in danger of ending up as a romance novel instead of a crime novel, and I didn't think Tony would ever let me live that down.

The sudden quiet as the soft jazz music in the background finished playing startled me. Snapping out of my reverie, I glanced at the clock. 3.06am. Even Jethro had gone to sleep, curled up in his dog bed. I'd been sitting there for hours, doing one of the few things I hated- feeling sorry for myself. It was time to get some sleep.

...

The sound of Jethro's soft yip woke me. Groggily I looked over to his bed. He was standing, ears pricked, tail wagging gently. Being the highly trained animal that he was, he didn't alert to just anything. "What is it, boy?" I asked sleepily. He yipped again just as someone started to knock on my door. Grumbling under my breath- who on earth was here at 4 am? - I reluctantly crawled out of bed and half stumbled down the hallway. In the short time I'd been asleep, the storm that'd been threatening all day had finally broken. There was so much water on the peephole that I couldn't see through it. I pulled the door open, then hung onto the door jamb in confusion. Abby stood on my doorstep, soaked to the skin. Her presence wasn't that unusual- one of the things you got used to when you were friends with Abby was her turning up at any time of the day or night. After the first time she'd picked my front door lock, I gave her a key. One day it could prove awkward, I supposed, but I rarely brought dates home. When you were a computer geek that worked odd hours, dates were few and far between. When you were a computer geek that worked odd hours and were in love with someone else, dates tended to be even rarer.

What was unusual was the fury on her face, and the fact that she'd obviously been drinking. "This is all your fault, McGee" she snapped.


	2. Chapter 2

I let her brush past me, using the time spent closing the door to rack my brain. I came up blank. I couldn't think of anything I'd screwed up or forgotten lately- at least not anything that would bring Abby over here at 4am to yell at me. I turned to look at her. She was pacing the length of my small lounge room, obviously thinking about whatever it was that was apparently my fault. This was one of the things I loved about Abby- how passionate she was. True, I'd rather that the passion wasn't anger directed at me, but I loved her in any mood. She was drenched and starting to shiver, though she didn't seem to be aware of it. Wordlessly, I went to the closet and got a towel, handing it to her. I knew from experience that Abby would talk when she was ready. The pacing was her way of organising her thoughts; if I interrupted her now she'd just get angrier. So I went into my room, searching through my drawers for some dry clothes that she wouldn't swim in. I was worried; I wanted to know what had upset her this badly. I put the dry sweats on top of the hamper in the bathroom. Once she wasn't in danger of freezing to death, I'd try to get her to tell me what was going on. She was still pacing when I returned to the lounge room. Eventually she started to calm down, her movements slowing. She looked at the towel she still held like she'd never seen it before, wrapping it around her shoulders and shivering.

"I put some dry clothes in the bathroom for you" I told her. I got a half smile in return, the last of the anger dying out of her eyes to be replaced by something I couldn't quite define.

"Timmy-"

My heart leapt a little at her calling me Timmy, the way it always did. When she was annoyed or focused on whatever case we were working on, she always called me McGee. I was used to it; my given name rarely got used by anyone I worked with. Calling me Tim or Timmy was gentler somehow.

"Go on, get comfortable. Then we'll talk."

...

Restless, I wandered aimlessly around the apartment while she was showering. What had made her come over here in the middle of the night? Had something gone wrong with her date? I instantly dismissed that thought; if something had, she wouldn't be blaming me for it. The bathroom door clicked and swung open. She looked small in the too-big sweats, and totally different to her normal self. She settled down on the couch with a sigh.

"Abs, what's wrong?" I asked, unable to wait any longer. I didn't want to push her, but I was apparently the reason she was upset, and I needed to know why.

When she didn't respond, I reminded her "You came all the way over here at 4 am and yelled at me, Abby. What's wrong?"

With another sigh, she began "After we broke up, I started dating other guys." I grimaced; I didn't need the reminder. The jealousy I always felt when she was interested in another guy surfaced; I tried my best to control it, but I'd never had much luck hiding that particular aspect of my feelings for Abby. Luckily she didn't see the face I made. She continued "But it never really felt-right, I guess. I didn't really click with any of them. I mean, we'd have fun for a while and then it just wouldn't work. I'd get bored, or there'd be something hinky about them like Mikel, and I'd end it." The mention of her crazy stalker ex- boyfriend always made me angry, I couldn't help it. He'd put her in so much danger. She saw it in my expression and gave me an odd little half smile, one I couldn't interpret. This conversation was getting a little strange, too. I could sort of understand why she was upset, but I couldn't figure out why it had led to her standing on my doorstep in the pouring rain. And I didn't really want to hear about her dating problems; I remembered how it felt to be the one she ended it with, and it still hurt 6 years later. "I started thinking that maybe it wasn't the guys I'd been dating, maybe there was something wrong with me."

"No." I cut her off. She wasn't perfect, no one was, but there damn well wasn't anything wrong with her, and I didn't want her thinking that there was. "Don't even think that, Abby."

She gave me another one of her enigmatic half smiles at my interruption, then looked down again "And then there was my date tonight." She looked up at me, and the glint of anger was back in her eyes. I didn't understand why, but I knew we were getting to the reason she was here; suddenly it occurred to me that I should stop her, prevent her from saying whatever it was she was here to say. She was a lot closer to sober than she'd been when she woke me, but she'd still been drinking. I should let her sleep on it. But something held me back from doing so.

"I really liked this guy, Tim. He's a field agent with the FBI, really into computers, minored in forensics..." She got up and started pacing again. "The whole time we were at dinner everything seemed really familiar... I kept half expecting him to call me Abs, and I couldn't figure out why." She stopped in front of me. "Then it hit me. He reminds me of you."

**A/N: Ok, I know I said this would probably be a two shot. I could have finished** **it in this chapter, but it lost something along the way. One more chapter, tops. F.**


	3. Chapter 3

I stared at her in disbelief. Had she really just implied what I thought she'd implied? I felt a small spark of hope light up inside and quickly tried to bury it. Hoping for a closer relationship with Abby was both futile and painful, I reminded myself.

"So... You're mad at me because you went on a date with a guy who reminds you of me?" I asked.

"Yes!" she snapped, clearly exasperated. She spun and came back towards me. "No, that's not it. I'm mad at you because you're the reason I haven't had a decent date in 6 years."

I had no idea what to say to that, letting her continue. "I never realised it before, but that's why it never clicked. And I'm angry because after a really bad date with another guy, I just spent 5 hours in a bar thinking about you!"

She stopped in her frenetic pacing again, turning my way, looking a little confused and somehow vulnerable. She took a deep breath, as if she was about to say something difficult. I hoped I knew what it was, but... As much as I wanted to hear the end of her train of thought, I knew that she wasn't thinking straight. The combination of anger and alcohol meant that if she said what I desperately wanted her to say, it would taint it, and I'd never really know if she meant it or not. So I put out my hand, stopping her before she said something she might regret later.

"Abs... don't"

"I want to tell you" she said, her eyes narrowed dangerously at my interruption.

"It's late, you're not thinking clearly. You don't want to say something you can't take back later." I pointed out. She didn't look convinced, so I tried a different tactic. "You can stay here tonight; if you still want to tell me whatever it is in the morning, I'll be right here."

She didn't reply, but I took her silence as acceptance.

After making sure she was comfortable and very nearly asleep in my bed, I made my way out to the couch, chucking a blanket and a spare pillow onto it. Lying down, I stuffed the pillow under my head and used my forearm to block the faint rays of sunlight that were filtering through the window. As I went back to sleep, I knew one thing for certain.

I was gonna hate myself in the morning.

...

I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Blinking my eyes open, I saw Abby standing over me with a cup in her hand. She held it out to me while she took in my feet hanging over the end of the couch.

"You don't fit on that" she commented. I knew.

"It's a small couch" I told her, sitting up and sipping the coffee. She settled down beside me, leaning against me slightly. I let myself enjoy it for a few minutes, still not really awake. Finally she broke the silence.

"About last night...I wasn't really angry at you, Tim. I was angry at me." I knew it was her way of apologising. I smiled at her, letting her know I understood. There was a tinge of fear in her big green eyes, and that surprised me. Abby didn't scare easily. "You told me I didn't want to say something I can't take back." I nodded, still watching her. "I can't take it back, but I want to tell you anyway." She swallowed.

"I'm in love with you, Tim."

**A/N: Abrupt ending, I know. I couldn't come up with a more graceful way of finishing it. Look out for a new story in the next few days :) F.**


End file.
